Rating: 2.0

Shen Chiang’s ‘Call to Arms’ is about as dull and listless as they come, never once engaging its viewer even at the most basic levels of entertainment merit.

Thanks to a mind-numbingly dull story and some weak leading performances, ‘Chanbara Beauty 2’ somehow manages to suck all of the fun out of bikini clad zombie slayers.

The narrative is fairly crisp, but cannot make the action any less ‘American’ in its pace and imagination (or lack of!).

Even the action becomes monotonous by the time the tournament begins and there’s probably as much genuine Choy Lee Fut on display as there was in ‘Pretty Woman’.

‘Command Performance’ isn’t exactly the worst movie ever, but it is a far cry from the Dolph Lundgren vehicles that we used to know and love.

The editing is enough to cause seasickness and confusion, while Jet’s opponents are nothing but meathead wrestlers and a criminally underused Mark Dacascos.

The few moments of promise at the beginning do not last long and the occasional flashes of action are merely there to trick us into sitting through the whole thing.

While ‘Crazy Shaolin Disciples’ does have a few merits, I’d have to say that there is far better available elsewhere.

‘Crocodile Island’ is deadly earnest which doesn’t quite work when characters are facing spiders the size of a shire horse.

Not a total strike out but could have been a whole lot more fun, and funnier, with a little more energy injected into it.

A deeply unfunny comedy from director Taylor Wong who allows all pace and narrative flair to disappear out of the window after the first ten minutes.

‘Death Kappa’ is a real mess of a film that seems to be trying too hard to be considered cult rather than focusing on getting the basics right.